Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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