I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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