My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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