You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
