Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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