the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Ketchup is God's man juice
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
