Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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