the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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