so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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