At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
