wanna go halves on a baby?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
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the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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