I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
