do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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