dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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