My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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