Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
