Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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