I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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