Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
