Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Vodka?
Forever.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
