I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize