Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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