Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
