i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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