Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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