Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You smell like stripper and shame
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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