He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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