I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
