smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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