In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
