So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
