Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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