didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she looked like the before picture.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
