He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
