I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize