I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
