hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
