i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
