What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
