what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
