and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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