I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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