Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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