Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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