She is in my trunk
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
