I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
