check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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