i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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