I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
