hotel room ftw
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
