It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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