Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Come see our sink grown plant.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
