She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
there is puke in my bra ... again
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