ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
