i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
