He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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