I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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