awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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