I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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