Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Girls should come with a carfax report
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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