If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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