We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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