just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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