im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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