Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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